Below are the 1 most recent journal entries recorded in Emily's LiveJournal:

Sunday, March 4th, 2007

6:47 pm

A Very Rough Couple of Days Thursday night was very hard.  Jason and I got into a pretty big fight.  I really don't want to get into it just know that things are ok, I am trying my hardest to let them be ok anyways.  Friday I had school which I wasn't prepared for (in part due to the events of the night before).  I hate going to class emotionally broken and totally not ready.  After my first class I made up an excuse and left.  I came home and tried to just let my shit go.  My phone rang.  It was Beth (my sister), I was tired and not in a talking mood so I didn't answer.  Then my mom called.  I realize something must be going on.   *side note*  For those of you who didn't know, my brother's girlfriend is pregnant.  We found out at Christmas.  About two or three weeks later we found out my sister Kathleen, the forty year old breast cancer survivor and mother of two, was pregnant with her third.  This brought us all great joy.  Two new babies.   I talked to my mother and found out that Kathleen had gone in for an ultra sound, and there was no heart beat.  The baby, we had started calling peanut, is gone.  I feel silly being upset.  It wasn't my body or my baby, this didn't happen to me.  I am sad though.  It has just been a very tough couple of days.  Friday night I had to baby sit, and Jason got shit faced with a couple of guy friends (that didn't bother me).  Saturday night I just wanted to go out and forget about all this overwhelming shit that had been going on but no.  He was too hung over from the night before to go out with me.  Now, I am mad because, although I realize his friend Crystal needs him right now due to her own problems taking place now, he is out once again at the bar and I am home sad and alone and feeling like maybe I am just not that important to him.  I needed him, not only that but he owed me big for what happened on Thursday and he has yet to be there for me like I need him to be.  I am probably over reacting, I am sure he has no clue how I feel but god THIS SUCKS. I had to get this out of my system. Sorry. I'm going to go so I will stop crying on my computer. (2 Comments |Comment on this)